Nursing in Public

It took me more than 3 months to become comfortable enough to nurse my baby outside of home. And that includes nursing baby at my parents or in-laws house.

Needless to say, this made my life very difficult, as one of the biggest advantage of breastfeeding is being able to feed baby anytime, anywhere. Being overly conscious of breastfeeding in public limits my ability to move beyond my house, as baby will need to feed every few hours. Of course, I could always opt to bring expressed breastmilk out so that I can feed baby. But what if my breasts feel engorged? That becomes yet another problem by itself.

So how did I overcome this fear? I just practised as much as I can with hooking-unhooking my nursing bra, getting comfortable with undoing my nursing clothes without showing too much skin, being comfortable with using the baby sling (so that it provides extra coverage in case baby flips open my clothes), and most of all getting confident. One of the most important things you can do as a new mother learning how to breastfeed discreetly in public is to get support. Go out with friends who are still breastfeeding so that they can demonstrate to you. Going out in numbers while breastfeeding in public for the first time can be a great morale booster.

If you do not already have friends who are able to go out with you for your first public breatfeeding experience, go and look for support groups with other breastfeeding mothers who can help you. In Singapore, there is a Yahoo Group called Asiaparents that is very pro-breastfeeding where you can arrange with other new mothers like yourself for tea so there is safety in numbers. Go to Yahoo Groups under www.yahoo.com.sg and look for asiaparents.

If you feel uncomfortable nursing your baby with someone you don't know, perhaps you can get your partner to go with you to a relatively quiet place to try it out first. In that way, you can slowly build your confidence without too much pressure trying to do it well. One important thing to remember is to try and feed baby before he/she gets too hungry. At least you won't be too flustered and baby won't be fussing too much for others to notice.

There, you have it... support and confidence for breastfeeding in public successfully.

Things you need to know that most people won't tell you

I am not an expert on breastfeeding, so I will not attempt to tell you everything there is to know on this issue. What I notice however, is that there are a couple of things that new mothers should know about breastfeeding before they give birth, so that they don't get too disappointed or unsure when people who have never breastfed start to question them. This is actually one of the key problem that lead to unsuccessful breastfeeding... simply because of lack of knowledge.

1. Your milk will only come in 3-5 days after birth
For goodness sake, this is one of the most important things all mothers should know, and yet many were only told that their milk will not come in immediately. This results in some sort of misunderstanding, as some mothers thought that not immediately means the next day (or even 6 hours later?). I was confused as a new mother as well, and I constantly got questions from my close relatives on whether I had milk, as my baby was crying all the time.

2. Baby has enough fat stores/ liquid to last 3-5 days
This is the wonder of nature. It gives the newborn enough stores until mommy's milk comes in. You don't really have to give the baby formula before your milk comes in. Be confident when baby cries and when well-meaning people around you ask. The fact is that all babies cry and they want to suckle. Let them suckle at your breast as much as possible so that your milk can come in faster. If you let them have liquids or formula, it may lead to a host of other problems like nipple confusion, wrong suckling technique, and feeling too contented to try suckling at your breast. All these are detrimental to successful breastfeeding.

3. Try not to pump your milk within the first 2-4 weeks
I know, a lot of people are concerned if baby is getting enough milk. I am a mother too, and I understand how it feels as you are worried that baby gets hungry or thirsty. But the truth be told - you simply will not have that much milk in the initial days, plus the suction from the pump will never be as strong as baby's suckle. They can milk you for more than your pump can get. Baby will continue to suckle until he/she is contented. They will unlatch after they are full. It is our basic instinct. I started pumping early as I was the kiasu mommy too, but ended up feeling disappointed with the initial pumping. No one told me not to at first, but I was glad I managed it due to luck.

4. Never schedule your feeds
All babies have very small stomachs. I was told that their stomachs are as small as a walnut. If you think about how small newborns are, this probably makes sense. Therefore, they may need to feed contantly. So demand feed as much as possible. Rigid scheduling may harm the newborn. When I talk about demand feeding, it literally means that. I remember my first child breastfed as often as every half an hour. This is tiring, I admit. But take heart, things will work itself out within the next month or so. Please don't be scared of by my statement at the point as every baby is different. My second baby only feeds every 3-4 hours and sometimes lasts up to 6 hours until the next feed. She just sucks longer each time. That happens when she was a newborn.

5. There is no need to supplement with water
Some grandparents/parents always get too eager with feeding water. They believe that it is necessary when baby hiccups, or worry that baby will not take water when they are older. The truth is that breastmilk (foremilk) contains a lot of water already. By feeding water especially in the initial days, you may not only cause nipple confusion, but also confuse your own breasts. As breastfeeding works very much on a demand-supply theory, less suckling from the baby (after he/she gets "full" on water) means less demand, and the breasts responds by making less milk. As water contains little or no nutrients, isn't it better to breastfeed when baby wants to drink something? Both my babies had no problems with water after they start solids, and I did not give them water when they were younger.

Breastfeeding is a learned skill

The title says it all. Breastfeeding while it comes naturally, is really a learned skill. For new mothers who are breastfeeding for the first time, the most important thing is to acknowledge that breastfeeding is not something that you will definitely get it right the first time. If you do, congratulations! If not, don't fret. Just be real prepared to seek help. Don't be afraid to ask your assigned Lactation Consultant at the hospital you give birth to guide you along.

Or better still get someone who has successfully breastfed her child to help you along. Surround yourself with people who are breastfeeding and can provide you support. Don't be shy.

When my hubby and I decided that we wanted to breastfeed our children, we didn't prepare much for it (yes, not even reading about it). It was just pure luck that I got through nursing my eldest child without much help. We stuck doggedly to our belief even though there wasn't really much support for me at that time - neither my mother nor my mother-in-law breastfed their children. Most of the people around me then were zealous about me moving my child on to formula because they did, and so did the people around them. A good thing was that I had a friend called Winnie who had nursed her daughter and whom I can depend on when I was at my wits ends with some breasfeeding concerns... so you see, wasn't that pure luck?

What made it worse was that the confinement lady we hired had never breastfed before either, so imagine her and both my mother and mother-in-law "ganging up" to ask me "got enough milk or not?". If I told you I wasn't affected and my morale of didn't take a beating, I must be lying.

It definitely wasn't easy starting on breastfeeding at a time when it was still not considered as the norm in Singapore, but I am glad I was able to learn this "nature's skill" despite the initial challenges. At this point while I am writing this entry, I am still enjoying the joys of breastfeeding, and have already moved on to tandem nursing.